The Way to a Girl's Heart is her Pet Platypus
by Charles Oberonn
Summary: No! It's NOT a Candace X Perry fic That's disgusting! Real Summary: Both Candace and Perry has problems with Candace's new romance. Problems whose solutions oppose each other. Will they find a way to make everyone happy? Without exopsing Perry's secret?


**I don't Own Phineas & Ferb or any of its characters.**

**This is a prequel to a story called "The Mother Vs. The Lover".**

**But sort of 4 times longer.**

** Enjoy.  
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The Way to a Girl's Heart Is Through Her Pet Platypus

Perry the Platypus was tied in one of the more peculiar traps Dr Doofenshmirtz ever used, a sticker trap. Not even the real stickers, it was the holes filled square sticker left after you took all the stickers out of a sticker paper.

"You see, Perry the Platypus…" the evil scientist began to reveal his evil scheme.

"Yesterday after I went for a doctor to check my injuries from our last battle, when I walked into the wrong office, but I didn't notice that and the new doctor gave me the painful exam for my slouch that the old one already did. Excuse me Perry the Platypus…" the grown man stretched, and made a breaking sound.

"Yes," he said painfully, "still feeling it."

Then a big robotic arm floated to the balcony he stood in and massaged his back, "You looked in un-comfort." The arm said with a Norm like voice.

"Yes, Yes I was, but no more. Thank you big sky robot!" he waved to the big box in the sky where thousands of robotic arms went from place to place all over Danville.

"Nice guy…" he said "But back to my evil scheme…"

"And you know the reason why I hadn't recognized that I entered the wrong office? Because all the doctors there looked the same! Those same distant eyes that everyone you don't really know have, I can't recognize anyone." He continued.

"Well today I am here to fix it! Because with my new Inator… The Name-Tag-Sticker-Inator!"

"This machine is designed to stick a name tag on everyone in the tri-state, with first name, last name **and **phone number; I hate to meet another Steve Jones… "He uncovered a white sheet and exposed a ray looking device with a big roll of sticker name tags on its back.

"Had to copy an entire phone book for this."

The evil scientist warmed up his evil machine.

"But one moment, Perry the Platypus, I just realized something, what if someone removes the name tag off their shirt? well let me think." He grinded his chin, Perry listened silently in his sticker trap.

"It's too late to replace the glue to something more… forevery… so I'll just set the machine to stick it the only place in the human body no one can reach, **the middle left upper back shoulder blade!**" He yelled evilly as he looked in an anatomy book he picked up,

"Well isn't that not catchy at all, I thought it would be called something like 'Itching Bone' or 'Unreachables Annoyus' but I guess that's good too."

Doofenshmirtz messed with the controls of the Inator. He didn't notice a metallic hand creeping into the stickered trap.

The hand tore the holed stickers and Perry was free, he had red marks from the stickers still but his mission was in front of him.

"You seemed a bit sticky there." The robotic hand said to the mammal.

"You already said that sky robot… "Dr. Doofenshmirtz said and then gasped as he turned around.

"Perry the Platypus, how did you escape?" he asked amazed, the robotic hand tapped his shoulder.

"Ohh…" he sighed, Perry jumped into an aerial kick to his face.

The battle didn't last long, Doofenshmirtz tried to block Perry with some more holes filled stickers that was tore easily, like many of their battles Doofenshmirtz eventually fell on his Inator and activated it, the scientist weight turned the Inator off its aim and directly up.

The roll of name tags started to roll, but every tag instead of flying through the air to some poor citizen just landed on Doofenshmirtz, landing on his middle left upper back shoulder blade.

Perry watched his nemesis crushing to the floor under the uncomfortable weight of the tags.

"That's ok… the nice sky robot will help me." Doofenshmirtz pointed up to the giant sky box with many hands.

But that action made the Inator actually work and a single name tag flew out of the machine.

And that name tag landed on the middle left upper back shoulder blade… of the giant sky robot.

All hands were summoned back immediately to take the tag off, and of course they failed to reach, instead the robot started tearing himself apart trying, until he was nothing but metal scraps.

"Is it dead?" Doofenshmirtz asked. He realized the answer was yes.

"CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYPUS!"

**~~X~~**

Perry walked out off his nemesis' house without paying attention to the defeated villain, whose gothic daughter was in the hallway on her way to the house while talking on her phone.

"Hello, Perry the Platypus, nice red marks." She greeted, the mammal took his hat to the lady.

"You know a Platypus named Perry?" asked a young female voice from Vanessa's phone, Perry recognized this voice, and he was alarmed.

"Yeah, but tell me about what your brothers did."

"Ok, Vanessa." The girl giggled, Vanessa leaned on the wall before entering the room, "Ohh my mom's here!" The girl from the other side said and her voice disappeared.

Perry kept listening to the talk from a hideout. The girl from the other side didn't reply until a minute passed.

"It disappeared." The girl said and seemed frustrated and sad.

"Don't worry; I still love you, Candace." Vanessa said and blushed. Perry's worries just became real.

"I love you, too." Candace replied, she sounded embarrassed as well. "So do you want to know what my brothers did today?"

"Hold on, my dad's needs me…" Vanessa noticed the helpless man inside the room.

"Tell me later tonight." Vanessa smiled and blushed deeper.

"When I come over."

"You can come over? I thought your mom didn't let you." Candace said and asked excitingly.

"Yes, yes she did. But my dad will as soon as I help him."

Both the girls seemed extremely happy, they "kissed" through the phone, the closest they got to an actual kiss, and Vanessa hung up without wanting to and went inside the door.

Perry ran back to the Flynn-Fletcher house as fast as he could, the sun began to set already.

**~~X~~**

"Dad, you need help?" Vanessa asked her father.

"Of course, why didn't I think of that? The people of the tri-state area could just remove each other's tags!" the scientist said with his mouth pressed to the floor.

"Whatever, but in return I want your approval to go to…" Vanessa made tiny circles on the floor with her foot while her hands were behind her back.

"…To my girlfriend's house for the night." She blushed, her father couldn't see it.

"Sure, I already agreed didn't I?"

"Thank you dad, you're the best." She said and began to pull on the pile of stickers.

**~~X~~**

"There you are, Perry." Phineas Flynn said, his triangle head looking at the semi-aquatic mammal. His step-brother stood in the living room next to him "But why are you covered with red marks?" Perry didn't react like he always did but inside he was alarmed.

"Phineas!" his red haired sister yelled, she looked angry and very uncomfortable.

"What's wrong, Candace? You look uncomfortable; too bad our global comfort box tore itself apart." Phineas said as he petted his platypus.

"Oh, you made a comfort box for your sister, that's cute." Linda Flynn-Fletcher said and rubbed her still hurt eyes from the "Be blind for a day" activity.

"Not just for her, for the entire city!" The red haired boy said.

"They did mom, see even they admit it!" Candace yelled to her mother.

"I'm sure you did, Phineas." She said and went upstairs.

"Now if you forgive me I need more of this eye drops."

Candace looked disappointed and sat on the couch with contempt.

"You might have ruined that for me, Phineas. But tonight someone really special is coming over and you better not do ANYTHING, ANYTHING." She stared at his eyes.

"Is it Jeremy's replacement?" asked the young girl in the kitchen who currently tried on Linda's "Be blind for a day" eyes cover.

"What, what have you heard?" Candace asked the black haired Mexican-Jewish girl.

"We overheard The Talk you had with Jeremy in your room this morning." She replied and stubbed her toe on the table. "Oww…"

"Go home Isabella… before the person is here." She looked at the younger girl with irritation.

A ring in the doorbell surprised everyone in the house, Linda just sighed in irritation from upstairs.

Candace's eyes lit up in happiness and excitement.

"She's here!" Candace yelled happily and then realized what she said and shut her mouth.

"She?" Isabella asked surprised and collided into another piece of furniture.

"Really, a she?" Phineas asked with surprise and interest.

"What are the odds? One to a million?" he added and walked over to the door.

"Well." Ferb said with his monotone voice. "Since 9% of the world's population are homosexuals and the same with women the answer would be no, the odds are more like One to ten."

"Whatever, just scoot away please." Candace said with blushing face and her tone wasn't really as threatening as she wanted.

"Can anyone open the door?" Indeed a female voice asked irritated yet excited from the other side of the door.

Ferb recognized that voice and quickly added the facts in his mind, he then looked at his step-sister with contempt, and giving her the look that tells her "It better not be who I think is it at that door…"

But it was. Phineas hurried to the door and opened it, he looked up to the teenage girl who wore a black leather suit and held a big bag.

"Hello, you must be Jeremy Johnson's replacement, nice to meet you, I am Phineas." He said, still looking up.

"Is that what she sees me as?" Vanessa Doofenshmirtz asked with an upset look at her eyes, Ferb even noticed a tear in her eye, so did Candace.

"No, of course not!" Candace rushed to the door and hugged her girlfriend tenderly.

Both the girl blushed and held each other still at the door. Candace was lost in the moment; she didn't even notice the five other people who watched over.

Five as in: Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, Linda…

And Jeremy…

**~~X~~**

"Oh, hello Candace." The blond tanned boy said, he rubbed his hair and tried to look away from the hugging couple, he blushed, but it wasn't the good kind.

"Jeremy…" Candace said, she noticed she still hugged Vanessa. She quickly disconnected from her hug, much to Vanessa's disappointment.

"What happened?" the brunette asked her girlfriend and tried to hold her hand.

"Not now, Vanessa." She whispered with a sad expression, Jeremy just waited patiently.

Vanessa looked back at her girlfriend's ex.

"Didn't you end it officially with him this morning?" she whispered.

"Please Vanessa, just wait." She pushed Vanessa gently; the gothic girl entered the house annoyed. She gave one death stare to Jeremy before she got in. The ex just swallowed his throat's already dried content in fear and awkwardness.

**~~X~~**

"Hi Ferb." Vanessa said to the short and pipe headed boy and stroked his green mane before sitting bummed down on the couch as her lover exit to the yard with her ex to sit under the tree.

"Don't worry Vanessa." Ferb sat next to her for company, "A wise man once said that the aching of one's heart can be eased as they think about the aching they'd have inside the burning orange Sun." he pointed to the sundown behind the tree.

"I like orange." Vanessa said and turned her eyes away.

Vanessa avoided staring the tree or the sun behind it and looked instead at Phineas trying to find the key to uncover his girlfriend's eyes.

"And what was this wise man's name?"

"Ferb."

**~~X~~**

**Meanwhile, at Perry's Lair**

"Agent P, what are you doing here, didn't you already thortenned Doofenshmirtz' scheme?" Major Monogram asked, his night cap was seen through the big screen.

"It's pronounced thwarted, Boss." Carl said and yawned.

"Don't tell me how to prenounce words, Carl!" the mustached unibrowed man yelled and shook his fist at the side, his night cap fell.

"Yes… sir."

"Oh wait I'll pick that up." He straightened the cap to his head and looked back at Perry.

Perry looked back at him with a funny look.

"I am not gonna take that off anytime soon, Agent P, especially not tonight, so tell me what was your emergency."

Perry pressed a button and loaded a photo that was taken through the agency's security camera a few minutes earlier.

The picture showed a teenage girl with black leather clothing standing in front of the Flynn-Fletcher house door.

"Is that, am I seeing right?" Monogram looked closer at the screen.

"It's Doofenshmirtz' daughter, sir, Vanessa Doofenshmirtz." Carl informed.

"I can see that Carl, I just have some early night forgetion, and don't dare correcting me Carl!"

Perry pressed some buttons and highlighted the most important part in the photo, the Flynn-Fletcher sign on the door.

"My fedora! What is she doing at your owners' house? Carl mark it exposure threat level 5!"

"Already marked, sir, we should really change that name." Both the humans sounded instantly awake again.

"Good work, Carl. Now listen Agent P, don't let her recognize you in front of your cover, I mean… owners. No, better, don't let her inside the house."

"Sir…" Carl said worried, the screen showed a current recording of the house's inside. Where Vanessa was seen sitting on the couch next to Ferb.

"She's already inside, Fuc- I mean, darn!" Monogram said.

"Ok, Agent P, tell us what're we dealing with." both Carl and the Major held notepads in their hand.

Perry drew with a crayon in a small piece of paper. He showed it to the screen, the drawing was for a perfect red heart shape.

"Wait Agent P how did you do that, you don't even have fingers!" Major Francis Monogram was amazed.

"I'm writing 'romantic relationship'." Carl said professionally.

"Oh right," Monogram focused up, "With who? The green haired kid?"

"Ferb Fletcher, sir."

Perry nodded his head to negative. He pressed another button and changed the camera to the camera outside at the tree.

"The neighbor?"

"Jeremy Johnson, sir."

Perry nodded to negative again; he highlighted Candace in the screen.

"What, really?" Major Monogram's face flushed a bit, "That's kinda h-"

"Sir, you're a married man!"

"I mean, extremely dangerous!"

"Agent P, you must make sure the girls won't see each other again!" Carl added.

"Don't you think it is a bit extreme, Carl?"

"We can't let any connection between the two plots besides Agent P… and the colliding invention, the several times where characters meet each other and…"

"Carl, 4th wall…"

"Sorry, sir. You're the boss." Carl laughed anxiously.

"Agent P. Try to make sure Vanessa doesn't tell the Flynn daughter about you or even recognize you."

Perry saluted and was about to go to his new mission.

"Nice red marks, Agent P." Carl said as Perry left off, but the intelligent platypus hasn't heard that.

**~~X~~**

"Really, Carl?" Major Monogram stared at his intern after Perry's screen turned off.

"What is it, sir?"

"You're trying to separate a teen lesbian couple, aren't you a teen yourself?"

"I'm 20, sir."

"That's not my point."

"21 next week, actually."

"Yes, I remember, but I'm saying that if you're against a teen lesbian couple you must be-"

"Be what, sir?"

"Are you gay?"

"And what if I am? Does it turn you on?" Carl made a fake naughty gesture with his heaps.

"Carl! I am a married man!"

"It was a joke, sir."

"I have enough homo for tonight without you making jokes, Carl."

**~~X~~**

At first Candace and Jeremy didn't even look at each other or talked, they just leaned on the trunk of the tree a few feet away from its other.

They waited until the end of sundown when it was nothing but the moon light reflecting from the grass.

Candace peaked inside the house and saw her girlfriend chatting with her brothers, she wondered if Vanessa wanted to see the sundown with her. She knew she wanted to see it with Vanessa.

But it's enough thinking about her. Candace tried to stop thinking about her girlfriend and focus on solving the problem with Jeremy.

"Urmmm…" she was out of anything to say.

"So, Candace." Jeremy said with his normal still charming smile, before, this smile would make Candace swoon, or at least think she's swooning. Now it was just a really nice smile.

"Was the flying box in the sky that made people more comfortable your brothers' invention?"

"Yeah." She answered with a tiny proud (?) smile.

"What reason did they need this time?" he asked, ignoring the reason why he came here for now.

"Well." Candace said and coughed to get ready for her story.

"Today after you left everyone except my mom woke up really-really early so we could jog with dad. And afterward we were all sweaty and tired, except Ferb."

"Why didn't your mom jog with you?"

"She was in this stupid "Be Blind for a Day" thing. That was really troublesome afterwards."

"You know "Be Blind for a day" donates money for blind kids and adults, right?"

"So?" Candace realized the selfishness in her words and apologized.

"Never mind that, go on."

"Since I was sweaty I tried to take a shower but then I was wet and tired and I wanted to sleep but since it was morning it was hot with my blanket, and I couldn't fall asleep, and I was a little sweaty again."

"And how's that have anything to do with a giant sky box?"

"I am getting to it."

"Go on then."

"While I was stuck in the Sweat-Shower-Tiredness-Sleep-Sweat-Shower-etc loop my brother made this floating hand that solved all of your little annoying problems by scanning your brain and do what it thinks fit you the best."

"Sounds like a cool idea, it really helped me today actually in my… never mind." He turned his head away from Candace.

"Or it's will take over our lives and decide what's best for us and we'll lose control over society." She said nonetheless, but she did noticed what he did then.

"That's a bit dystopic of you to say that don't you think?"

"Even if it won't happen my brother shouldn't do things like that anyway, and it's not fair I need to be stuck in a loop while they had this thing."

"It really is not fair only you stuck in a loop." He looked away again; it seemed like he was lost in his thoughts.

"Anyway… I told them that it isn't fair so they took my comment and built a giant cube to be the center of a fleet of thousands of hands and…" she took a big breath.

"Then there was a fast paced song about how the machine solved tiny problem of people and how it worked."

"Your brothers sang a song about their invention?"

"No, the singer did."

"Singer, what singer?"

"Actually I don't remember who was singing, but there was definitely a song."

"Song or not, what happened afterwards?"

"I wanted to show it to my mom but because of the _wonderful _"Be Blind for a Day" she was wearing a eye cover and couldn't see the **giant box in the sky**. She thought the hand that helped her every time she needed something was the guide of the blind program. And the worst part is she didn't believe me when I told her there is no guide."

"Your mom didn't believe you again so you probably needed to prove her."

"Yes, that's just it. As soon as the blind program was supposed to end my mom found out she forgot the key for the eyes cover at home. So I rushed home and called her to hurry. But just when she was about to take the eyes cover off all the hands retracted to base and started to tear the box apart to trillion billion tiny metal flakes."

"Why?"

"My brothers said, well Phineas said that this landed on a spot on the box where it could never reach and remove yet it tried anyway and died trying."

"What landed?"

"This." Candace pulled out a piece of metal, on the metal there was a name tag sticker.

She handed him the piece of metal, he looked at it carefully.

"It has a name tag with **my** name on it."

"It says "Steve Jones" on the other side."

"That's nice, but…" Jeremy had a series look in his eyes.

"What did you do between calling your mom and her arriving?" he moved a bit closer and looked deeper in Candace's eyes.

"Well I waited for my mom to show up."

"And what did you do while you waited?"

"I… I… I called Vanessa, alright?" she looked mad, she blushed in anger and embarrassment.

"That's where our real problem starts." He said and put his hand on Candace's.

**~~X~~**

Vanessa looked outside on the ex-lovers, she saw what Jeremy did and got jealous, she wanted to punch him right now.

She got up and went for the door when she stepped on something.

She picked it up and found out it was a broken piece of plastic shaped like a key, it probably wasn't broken before she stepped on it.

"Ehhh, Phineas was it?" she asked the boy who tried to alternate between searching for something and guiding his girlfriend to the couch.

"Yes?" he added talking to Vanessa to the list of things.

"I think I found your key." She showed the broken piece of plastic.

"Oh, look at that." Phineas was awfully optimistic about the key. He held Isabella for a second and tried to insert the broken key.

"Phineas, it still won't come off." Isabella felt around until she found her boyfriend's hand, he guided her to the couch.

Vanessa sat down as well, giving up on the two outside.

"So what now, Phineas? Will I Be Blind for a Life?" she asked and tried to feel around until she confirmed Ferb and Vanessa's locations.

"No, dad is picking up our toy making paycheck on his way home. So we'll buy the right equipment as soon as he arrives." He answered her.

"Well on the meantime we could play a game." Isabella said and smiled, Phineas smiled as well; whenever Isabella mentioned a game it usually included something romantic or just horny.

"What kind of game?" Vanessa attempted to get her mind off Candace and Jeremy.

"I'll stand and you switch places and I'll guess where Phineas is and I kiss the person whose I think he is." Everyone in the room blushed to Isabella's suggestion.

"It's only fair that after every round we'll switch places and change the person standing." Ferb suggested.

"No." Isabella said. "I'm not risking Phineas kissing anyone but me."

"But if you kiss someone else it's just fine?" Phineas asked a bit betrayed.

"I won't kiss someone else, trust me." She said, and he did.

Isabella got up and spun around a bit, she covered her ears.

"Oh yeah, rules first." She said a bit drowsy.

"No one can move until I disconnect the kiss." She pointed at Vanessa, somehow, "Especially you, I didn't get to see you yet so I'm not sure if you are even cute or not. Ferb, is she pretty?"

Ferb cleared his throat and was ready to speak.

"Never mind, Phineas?" Ferb was disappointed.

"I say…" Phineas scratched the chin he doesn't have.

"0.89 In a scale from infinitesimal to you." He said and looked at his girlfriend. She "Looked" at him back and giggled.

Phineas eventually realized a way to mix Isabella's romantic needs with his favorite techno bubble "I know we're gonna do today!" speak.

"Wait," Vanessa said "Is that good or bad?"

Ferb came to the rescue.

"On a fraction based scale where Isabella is the prettiest outcome possible, like Phineas sees it, we'll be marking Isabella as 1, and anyone not pretty as her will be marked a respective number between 0 and 1. If you're a 0 then you have no beauty and according to some philosopher it means you don't exist."

"Then 0.89 is pretty good." Vanessa was somewhat glad about her rate, but her good mood dropped down as she watched her girlfriend with Jeremy outside.

Isabella sensed the change in mood and hurried to react.

"Well, let's start." She said loudly and shut her ears off like her eyes were. She uncovered her ears after a minute.

"What about that? Only one of you is even on the couch." She said and giggled, she got closer to the couch, where Vanessa was the only one sitting.

"Well, I'll kiss you then, Phineas!" Vanessa swallowed a lump in her throat as Isabella drew closer and closer, as soon as their lips were just about to touch, Vanessa jumped back and away from Isabella.

"Don't, I don't want you to have…" the teen began to say.

Isabella started laughing. "You should've seen the look on your face." She said.

"I should've seen the look on your face." Isabella said as she looked to the side.

"I knew it was you, Van." Isabella laughed. "Phineas was there, he entered his invisible vacuum glass bubble to trick me."

"How did you know?" asked Phineas who appeared apparently out of nowhere, something closed behind him, Ferb got out too from his hideout.

"It makes a faint whoosh sound…" Isabella said and turned around back Vanessa, no one has yet understood how she was able to do that with her eyes covered.

"I have something to ask you, but hold on!" she turned again and kissed Phineas quickly.

"Game Over, I win!" she said as it was obvious that how the outcome will be.

Vanessa tried to go somewhere else very quietly; Isabella still found her and "looked" directly at her.

"What do you mean by what you said?" Isabella asked, she didn't want to sit down; she was too excited to do that.

"By what?" Vanessa asked with a monotone voice. She took another glance at Candace outside.

"What don't you want me to have?" she asked the teen and "stared" in her eyes.

"Nothing, never mind."

"OHH!" Isabella understood something.

"You never kissed yet!" she said, not asked.

"What?" Vanessa was embarrassed, she blushed.

"Yeah, so?" the girl in the black leather asked, she avoided the blindfold girl.

"You didn't want Isabella to have your first kiss?" Phineas asked, he held his girlfriend hand again.

"Well, yeah, like I said, so?" Vanessa folded her hands.

"Can I help with that?" Ferb asked, he blushed too and his voice was dim.

"She already has someone to have her first kiss!" Isabella yelled at Ferb.

"Yeah… I don't anymore." Vanessa looked outside again.

"Don't worry, I'm sure Candace loves you too, you'll get there." Isabella told her.

"When Candace loves someone she really-really loves him… them!" Phineas said and then shut his mouth.

"But that someone is out there." Vanessa's eyes began to tear.

"No!" Isabella yelled at her. "No Crying!"

"That's someone is right here!" she pointed at her, directly at the teenager's lips.

**~~X~~**

"Our problem?" Candace asked and she looked still angry.

"Listen, Candace!" Jeremy focused a bit; he tried to talk to his ex more nicely than before.

"I thought we talked about it this morning, there shouldn't be any problem." She said her tone angrier.

"This not about what we talked about in the morning, it's what happened afterwards."

"What do you mean?"

"You weren't the only one stuck in a loop today, Candace."

"What."

"I was stuck in a loop too. A loop of Missing You-Anger-Self Hate-Anger-Missing You-etc."

"What that's mean?" Candace knew exactly what it meant.

"I was tortured about our break-up, well, our official break-up... all day. And while you hated your brothers' invention I liked it. I was… uncomfortable without it. But this robot couldn't solve my real problem. And the worst part…"

"What's the worst part?"

"I thought the worst part was that I can't go to my girlfriend to help me."

Candace was touched by his words, but she didn't agree with him, Vanessa was the one for her, she knew what she wanted.

"But that's only what I thought was the worst part." He said.

"Then was the real worst part?" she asked a bit teary.

"Why don't you guess it yourself?"

"How?"

"I don't know…" he said, but he did know."What was your worst problem today?"

"Our break-up." She said immediately to make him feel important.

"But then you were done with that and you went straight to your next problems."

"I have many problems…"

"Like destroying a box?" he looked at her straight in the eyes.

"I would never be able to get away with doing something like that, it's not fair!"

"And worrying whether your girlfriend can come over tonight had something to do with the giant box?"

"That's another problem I had. How do you know about it?"

"Candace, it's usually an unscripted law but I'll script it for you. You should share the pain of the breakup with your ex for at least a day."

Candace was angry with this statement, but she knew yelling at him over it was pointless. But she won't lie, she will find another truth.

"But I did share it. I only used my other problems to help my mind off it now that's I don't have a way to make it better."

"But you did have your girlfriend to help you."

They laughed anxiously but eventually the laugh halted to a stop.

"But another thing, Candace…" he said and looked at the ground.

"What is it now?"

"Who gave you the right to ease your mind off it?"

"What!"

"I don't have any crazy siblings or…"

"Actually…"

"Or an exotic gay relationship…" he ignored her.

"So it's about Vanessa…"

"No, it's about you, Candace."

"ME?"

"I have a day of loneliness while you have… a normal day."

"So I can't be happy because I'm not with you?"

"Only for a day!"

Candace slapped him, he stopped. His cheek reflected red in the moon light.

**~~X~~**

"I am sorry." He rubbed his cheek with the cold piece of metal.

"Now, without blames and accusations… what's really wrong?"

"It's just…" Jeremy wanted to cry, Candace was already crying.

"It's that you're getting off our relationship with someone new and everything you had before and I ended up with nothing, you understand?"

"I think I can understand."

"But now I feel really selfish, because essentially you dumped me but in our talk it was like we both wanted it, but I don't want it."

"You're blaming me for breaking it easy with you?"

"That's why I'm selfish, I'm not sure why I am angry. I guess…"

Jeremy waited for Candace to say something, she didn't say anything.

"I guess I just want it to end like it was before if it's ends at all."

"Before?"

"Both before and after we started dating you always tried so hard to please me, our love was really important to you. You spent a lot of time doing something I had naturally."

"But I thought a lot on our breakup as well as anything in our relationship."

"But after we were through you don't care."

"Because it's different, you can't expect every action in the world to work by the same pattern."

"But that's how I feel it works, I can't shake it off."

"Soon summer will end and then everything will be different again."

"We're in the same school." Jeremy looked at the piece of metal.

"We're neighbors always."

"Your brothers will always make inventions."

"It's not like before, but it still has a pattern, you just need to find out what it is."

"I'll find one to live through if there's even one."

"A sequel to this pattern."

"But we're friends in all of them, right?"

"Maybe this pattern will have a Cliché count."

They both laughed hard and felt better.

**~~X~~**

"You think I can come over?" Jeremy asked.

"I sort of have someone already here." She blushed and pointed at the teenager inside.

"By the way, I heard a rumor about you two from Stacy."

"Don't believe her; she doesn't really like Vanessa, or the idea of me as a lesbian... with Vanessa it's not that I like her because she's a girl, I'm just in love with her as person." Candace said and looked inside. "Though she does have a **very **nice figure." she shut her mouth and let Jeremy continue.

He laughed and agreed with her as a joke, she smiled and blushed deeper. he continued what he started.

"Stacy told me you can't even pronounce her name."

"Vanessa." She pronounced the word slowly to disprove the rumor.

"Not that. Her last name."

"Vanessa…" Candace was stumped, she couldn't remember the right pronunciation even though she was told it a thousand times before.

"I knew it."

"Shut up, it starts with a D."

"And then what?"

"An O."

"And?"

"Fine, I don't know how to say her name correctly, happy now? It's something like Dofneshomething…"

"Doofenshmirtz." He said proudly.

"How do you know?"

"I taught her dad how to play guitar once."

"Well teach me."

He peaked inside for a second. Vanessa was still talking to the younger kids.

"Ok, I'll teach you quickly."

**~~X~~**

Perry got out of his lair to a secret hideout just inside Phineas' Invisible Vacuum Glass Bubble.

He watched quietly as Candace re-entered the house. It was too late.

"Agent P!" Carl alerted him from his watch.

"The circumstances wasn't on our side and it appear Candace is still dating Vanessa. We would recommend you hiding but the probability that Vanessa will visit again is very high, she will recognize you one day. I am afraid we'll have to order you to… eliminate the relationship." Carl hung up.

"Just do it, Agent P." Monogram added.

Perry worried about the dangers of betraying circumstances against him.

He checked the situation again, Vanessa hadn't seen him yet, he could disguise as just another Perry for tonight, but this won't work for the long time. He has to use some other method to separate the soon to be tragic relationship.

He checked the camera. Linda was still upstairs, perfect.

**~~X~~**

"Goodbye, Jeremy." Candace waved her ex-boyfriend as he walked to the house next door.

Vanessa noticed how things were a lot less tense between them now.

"And hello Miss. Doofenshmirtz!" she said and checked her girlfriend out like a carouser in a gallery. Vanessa giggled and blushed, Candace hugged her tight and Vanessa accepted that hug happily.

"It's ok." Candace said. "All problems with Exes and girlfriends are solved."

"Not really," Vanessa answered.

Phineas and Ferb avoided listening in on their talk, Isabella couldn't do anything but listen for her romance hobby and the new hearing abilities she had now that she's blindfolded.

"I'm pretty sure Johnson doesn't like me very much." The Brunette finished her sentence.

Candace disconnected the hug. Vanessa stumbled a bit trying to keep the hug going.

"We're going upst-" Candace started saying when she noticed Isabella.

"Why Isabella is still blind folded?" she asked.

"I broke the key." Vanessa said and held her girlfriend's hand.

"Actually, Ferb fixed the key." Phineas said, his step-brother held the shiny complete key in the air for a second.

"Now she's just refusing to take it off." The red haired boy added.

"I like it better that way." Isabella explained.

"Ok…" Candace said, Vanessa did nothing but stare at her girlfriend's beauty.

"Like I said, we're going upstairs." Candace finished her sentence and began to go up with Vanessa who hurried up even faster.

Ferb and Isabella immediately began following them. Isabella with a romance craving look who wants tohear the rest of the lovey-dovey talk. Ferb walked slowly with a look of contempt to his sister and longing for Vanessa.

"Do Noiée Distúrb!" Candace yelled at them to keep back, the strange words worked and the two kids drew back.

"Just because I'm half-German doesn't mean I talk like that."

"That was German?"

"It could be, I have no idea…"

**~~X~~  
><strong>Perry had to work fast to perform his unfortunate sinister plan.

He used the agency idea bringer, a device designed to well… bring ideas. The idea bringing process, or inception, was able through a technology Perry stole from Doofenshmirtz earlier that summer.

Perry got close to the parents room and activated the device.

Pictures started to flash into Linda's mind.

_"Aren't you two too young to sleep in the same bed with your girlfriend/boyfriend?" _

_"Yes, Yes we are." Her son and his girlfriend's voice were clear in her head as if the conversion accrued right now._

_"That's why I can't let you do that."_

_"But Mrs. F-F…" Isabella shouted._

_"I don't like when my children's girlfriends call me that."_

_And that was it._

Perry activated the device again.

This time Candace and Vanessa was in the flash of the much newer memory.

_"Mom, there's no need to bring a futon, Vanessa's sleeping next to me…"_

_Linda sighed in hopelessness. "Fine, but nothing too horny."_

_"OMG, Mrs. F-F, did you just said horny?"_

_"I don't like when my children's… girlfriends… call me that."_

_And that was it._

Perry activated the device one last time.

_Hold on, there's a contradiction. _

_Why am I letting Candace do what I don't let Phineas?_

_Even if she's older that doesn't mean I can't let her do something like, they're both under 18 anyway._

_Beside with Candace doing something so risky and unconventional sexually I can't let her look at it like a normal relationship._

_I have to restrain those two._

Perry was both satisfied and ashamed of his actions as Linda got out of her room with a futon.

She entered her daughter's room and laid the futon on the floor. Perry listened in from the other side of the door.

"Mom I told you we don't need it." Perry could hear Candace's embarrassement in her voice.

"Yes, Mrs. F-F, I'm sleeping in Candace's bed tonight." He could hear the same with Vanessa's.

"Not if I have something to do with this." Perry was alarmed; he could hear the device's affect on her mind in Linda's voice.

"But mom!"

"I'm sorry but you're too young to decide by yourself in this sort of relationships."

"So it's because I am a girl?" Vanessa sounded angry.

"Yes, the rules of those things are too complicated for Candace, what would other people think?"

"What other people's opinions have to do with us sleeping together?" Candace asked.

"Ohh it's not ending with this, but something is."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want you to touch my daughter anymore."

"Well, your problem."

"Actually it's your problem…" She said and spole again without letting any of the teens react.

"Tonight you're sleeping in Candace's room **in a futon **and tomorrow you two are no longer girlfriends."

"You can't do that, mom!"

"Why not, you're my underage daughter, I can approve or disapprove your relationships. And don't worry I won't prevent you two2 from meeting, you can still be friends, you just won't be more than that, you can even have… what they call it? A Romantic Friendship with dates and wedding promises and stuff, but you two don't get even a fairytale relationship with each other. "

The two soon to be ex-lovers just looked with awe, somehow Linda had a paper that showed she's right by the law.

"I'll take that silence as a yes. Now get in the futon, Vanessa. It is bed time. You two should go to sleep before you do something perverted."

Candace and Vanessa got inside their separate sleeping mats and stared at the ceiling, tears began to cave in both their eyes.

Perry wasn't really happy with this outcome, but he needed to go on for one more "Scene".

He entered Candace's room and sat on her bed between her and her lover.

**~~X~~**

Perry secretly activated the device on Vanessa's body. She couldn't move or do anything that'll risk his "success".

"That's not fair." Candace said, still staring at the ceiling, the person she wanted to be by her side was so close but she couldn't just climb up her bed.

"It's not, who's she to say what we can't do?" Vanessa tried to say in a rebellious attitude but she still cried a little in her eyes.

"But your mom doesn't like you a lesbian, too, isn't she?" Candace said very quietly, she began to lose hope.

"You know what else my mom did?" Vanessa tried to look at her girlfriend's face but Perry's face didn't let do it or realizing she can't do it.

"What?"

"She divorced my dad, the only parent that's agree with me, that knows I am real. A real parent."

"An easy parent. A parent for lazy rebels." Candace looked extremely down, even worse than the time she had to hide liking Ducky Momo from everyone.

"What're you talking about? What happened to you?" Vanessa began to get depressed herself.

"You happened to me."

"You blame me?"

"No, I love you, I am happy with you. But everyone else blames you… and me. What happened to me is that's my love is forbidden."

"It's not forbidden if we able to love each other in the way any other couple can."

"It's forbidden since the people in charge of us don't allow it."

"Then they're wrong."

"But they're representing more people. The people who wrote rules against us, whether if scripted or not."

"Candace…" Vanessa began to cry loudly.

"We can't change 89% percent of the world, Vanessa. It's much easier to change ourselves."

"But it's still not easy!"

"It the hard way to rebel. To rebel against one self. Who's a hero but a one who conquers their want?"

"Rebelling against you isn't rebelling, it's the exact opposite. It's explicating someone else on yourself instead forcing someone else to see you."

"I am sorry, Vanessa."

"Should I keep a cliché count?" Vanessa tried to laugh, it was hard.

Perry pretended to sleep. The counter of his success raised as the counter of his conscious was infinitesimal.

"It's over for the two of us."

"But when we're 18 then-"

"I can't wait two years, Vanessa." Candace cried audibly, she wanted to say her girlfriend's name more. She continued.

"Time goes so slow, Vanessa. Two years of the dull relationship my mom tell us will be so boring. Until the time I can have you, I'll already grow too much of a friend with you I couldn't do it."

"So? That's what the authority you don't rebel against want doesn't it?" Vanessa tried to wipe her eyes but she couldn't move.

"No, that's the freedom they gave us, but this freedom isn't really freedom, it's better to do what they really want us to do."

Vanessa hated the authority Candace talked about so much, she wanted to crush something.

"You want to end it for real, for us to never see each other again?"

"We'll see each other again; we always meet somehow at my brothers' inventions. They will be painful and awkward meetings but we will see each other."

Vanessa cried silently, Candace too. The red head stopped staring at the ceiling and turned her back away from her almost ex.

Vanessa wanted to crush something, something alive. She looked at the blue-green platypus with hate. Physically he was the one separating between her and Candace. She saw him to blame.

She looked at Perry as close as she could without moving, she then recognized the red marks on the beaver tail.

She finally noticed that she can't move, she looked at Perry and connected the dot.

The device reacted to a malfunction; Perry realized that Vanessa now knows who he is.

Vanessa smiled. It was a small and almost hopeless smile, but it was a happy one.

"Candace." Vanessa said, she still couldn't move.

Candace didn't react.

"Candace."

"Don't make it harder than it already is, Vanessa."

"Candace!"

"What?" Candace turned around to see her girlfriend still staring up.

"Your Platypus' name is Perry."

Perry was alarmed. Karma bit his ass and now his conscious was as low as his success rate.

"He's not really my platypus, he's my brothers', I don't know why he chose to sleep here tonight."

"I know a platypus named Perry."

"Vanessa…" Candace said sadly, "These small talks make it four times harder."

"But my Perry is doing more than just nothing."

"Vanessa…"

"Hear me out."

"Fine…"

"My Perry is a secret agent, his code named Agent P, or just Perry the Platypus."

Perry considered whether to activate the device again, to send Vanessa into sleep, or a coma.

"And Agent P works at a place that's hides its agents' identity."

"Is this some kind of story?"

"This place tells its agent to hide the fact they're secret agent to prevent the real world from discovering the organization has secret animal agents."

Perry was about to activate the device, but he sensed Vanessa had some point in this besides exposing his identity.

"So what's about _that _Perry?" Candace asked, actually interested but still sad.

"Well my Perry isn't really my Perry, he has a life from his own, it started as cover story but it's much more than that, it's a huge part of his life."

Perry forgot about the device for now.

"What's does that mean?"

"Can you imagine what his life would've been if he quit the agency? He still needs to hide it but now he has nothing in his other side of his life. And even if he still works at the agency, the thing he wants to do is tell his "Cover Story" about the truth, and for them to accept it, accept him."

Candace didn't say a word; she waited for Vanessa to finish her story.

"But he can't."

Candace stopped moving. She didn't do anything for a long time, a few second and then a minute. All three creatures in the room were tensed.

"What's that mean?" she asked.

"Now I have a question to ask you. Be ready."

"I am ready."

Vanessa cleared her throat and spoke.

"Are you a platypus?"

Candace didn't understand in a first few seconds, but she realized… and smiled.

"Are you any other kind of secret animal agent?" Vanessa's smile grew bigger.

"Come over here now, Vanessa!" Candace yelled her girlfriend's name as loud as she could.

Perry deactivated the device and freed Vanessa to move.

The teenage girl who wore a pajama version of her normal black outfit jumped out of the futon towards the bed.

Perry left the room quietly and reported the danger is thwarted without any broken hearts on the way.

**~~X~~**

Candace hugged Vanessa tightly and the couple was like in a dream, snuggling in the bed.

The red head had her head on her taller girlfriend's chest. Exactly the things "The Authorities" didn't want them to do.

But then Vanessa disconnected the hug.

"Huh?" Candace was disappointed. "I thought we don't care about what they said, I want to hold you!"

"And I want to make it public." Vanessa opened the window and poked her head out.

She took a big breath and yelled.

"I! Vanessa Doofenshmirtz! a girl! and Candace Flynn! also a girl! Are in love!"

Her voice echoed across the street.

In love!

In love!

In love!

Cookie!

In love!

She pulled her head back in quickly, she closed the window and looked at her lover, and her gothic face was blushed tomato red.

"Did you hear the 'Cookie' part?" Candace asked and her face flushed too.

"Yeah, my echo broke; I inherited it from my dad." She answered and jumped on Candace in the bed.

"So, should we seal it to the bases?" Candace asked her girlfriend's head rested on her chest.

"The bases?" Vanessa asked. "Let begin with first."

She arched above the slightly shorter girl, brunette hair mixing with orange.

Vanessa leaned down until their lips touched each other slightly, and then Candace put her hands on Vanessa's neck and pulled her in deeper.

Vanessa cried a happy tear, and after her so did Candace.

They laid on their side, still kissing, still embracing.

And fell asleep, bringing an end to this pattern changing day.

**~~The End~~**

**I might make another one in the series if there's demand.**


End file.
